In the very deepest depths of my selfish,desperate despair I had Little faith in anything and quite simply I felt absolutely broken. I remember the feeling well.
My parents and I were frantic in our searching trying to find a place that would accommodate my problems as massive as they felt. I remember feeling broken like I know something,everything was very very wrong but no matter what I read I couldn’t name my predicament suitably and “hopeless” hardly covered it.
The days before my arrival were loaded with anxiety and small periods of wondering whether or not I really needed this kind of place but also many moments where my decisión was wrapped in an ethereal sense of “yes” …yes his is the right place and yes I do need help. I was told somehow that “this upgrade is intense so move gently and forgive yourself when you slip…” that I would be tested and triggered but I’d move through challenges rapidly.
All the way through my stay here I’ve been astonished at how true that was and still wonder about the sources of these messages. I’ve faced my deepest secrets here, the things I have never seen. I’ve learned about forgiveness, acceptance, tolerance and most importantly love.
I’ve learnt what sets my anger off and how to let it be, and why I have done the things I have done that caused so much discord in my life and the lives of those around me. I’ve been taught how to be present,be graceful,be strong and surrender,to pray and to hope and get free of resentments. I’m learning about patience and peace and practice and principle and I just need to say thank you for it all. My sense of gratitude is ineffable for sobriety is the least of my gains since I got here. Suddenly I see myself in the future living long and even happy. You’ve helped me make time. You’ve enriched my smile. Thank you for the time,thank you for the lessons,thank you for the support and thank you again for believing in me. Its been an absolute pleasure.
With lifetimes of love.