If you’re someone who struggles with an addiction or a mental health issue like anxiety, depression, or trauma, you’ll likely be familiar with the uncomfortable emotions and beliefs that often accompany these conditions.
Feelings of shame, unworthiness, guilt, and self-sabotage are often interlaced with substance abuse and co-occurring disorders like depression, anxiety, and PTSD.
A significant part of recovery is learning how to manage these challenging emotions through techniques like self-compassion, which often takes place in individual and group therapy settings.
By practising self-compassion regularly, you gradually learn to respond to painful emotions and feelings with kindness instead of self-punishment.
Self-compassion empowers you to develop a new, more empowering internal dialogue, an inner voice that says:
‘Yes, I’ve struggled – but I’m human and deserve love, care, and healing.’
What is self-compassion?
According to some researchers, self-compassion is described as ‘compassion directed inward’, which is marked by three main components: common humanity, self-kindness, and mindfulness (the ability to observe one’s thoughts and feelings without judgement, which is crucial in responding to painful emotions with compassion).
These elements help build a stable, supportive inner foundation that nurtures healing and recovery.
Unlike self-esteem, which often depends on external validation and praise, self-compassion is a consistent source of inner strength.
It’s not about always feeling good about yourself, but about treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would a good friend.
Self-compassion is a powerful tool for encouraging growth and resilience, even in the face of setbacks.
It’s something you can eventually cultivate within yourself, with the support and guidance of a professional.
Letting go of shame and guilt
Letting go of shame and guilt sounds like a reasonably easy thing to do, especially in the face of more challenging mental health symptoms, like a lifelong substance addiction or an anxiety disorder.
How hard can it be? Just let the feelings go, right?
If only things were that easy.
Shame and guilt are often what lie beneath many substance use disorders, like alcohol and drug addiction.
You don’t want to drink or take illicit drugs.
You know it never ends well.
But in that moment, the substance happens to be the ‘thing’ that takes shameful feelings away.
It erases guilt like rubber on a whiteboard, making you feel more socially connected and present.
Temporarily, of course, because as you know, the bad feelings always come back, often with a vengeance.
Shame and guilt are two of the most common, albeit painful emotions that tend to coexist with mental health conditions like trauma and addiction.
So, how can you begin to let these feelings go? One of the most empowering ways you can do this is through self-compassion.
Here are some reasons why.
Self-compassion is a vital tool for those in recovery
Self-compassion is a powerful tool in the healing process.
It helps individuals navigate challenges by fostering kindness and understanding towards themselves, especially during difficult moments, rather than falling into patterns of self-criticism and shame.
This approach not only eases anxiety and depression but also boosts overall well-being, proving to be a far more effective motivator than harsh self-talk.
Studies show that self-compassion can significantly improve treatment outcomes for those facing mental health disorders like trauma and addiction, cultivating a sense of personal competence and reducing the isolation that often comes with shame and guilt.
Shame and guilt can hinder progress in recovery
Shame and guilt are often unconscious, internalised beliefs or perceptions about oneself and their place in the world.
But there is a profound difference between the two.
For instance, guilt focuses on behaviour: ‘I did something wrong’, or ‘I should never have eaten that second piece of cake.’
On the other hand, shame attacks the self: ‘There’s something wrong with me’ or ‘I’m permanently broken or flawed.’
If left unaddressed, guilt and shame can become an endless cycle of toxicity – a constant loop of negative self-talk, emotional distress, and self-blame, which can hinder the recovery process.
People who struggle with chronic shame and/or guilt may say things like:
‘I always mess things up.’
‘I’ll never be good enough or worthy.’
‘I’m just unlucky, I guess.’
Chronic shame often leads to avoidance, social withdrawal, or relapse into self-destructive patterns like substance abuse or other compulsive behaviours.
However, self-compassion can help break this cycle.
With time and patience, self-compassion can help turn negative thoughts and distorted self-beliefs into a more empowering inner dialogue about oneself, which is integral to the recovery process.
Self-compassion encourages accountability without self-punishment
Various misconceptions exist around self-compassion. One common myth is that it leads to complacency.
But this couldn’t be further from the truth.
When we treat ourselves with kindness and understanding, we are far more likely to take responsibility for our actions.
Why?
Because we are not paralysed by guilt, fear or shame.
Self-compassionate people are more motivated to make meaningful, lasting changes because their sense of worth or confidence isn’t tied to perfection.
Individuals who bring self-compassion into their lives have an increased capacity to admit their mistakes without engaging in harmful behaviours fuelled by shame or guilt, like compulsive gambling or substance abuse, making it integral to recovery.
It fosters belonging and connection
Shame and guilt breed in silence. Isolation is shame’s greatest ally.
When someone withdraws from the world, shame and guilt can tell them all kinds of unhelpful stories and untruths – like they are not good enough, unworthy, or inherently flawed.
However, self-compassion breaks individuals out of this bubble of isolation and into connection, reminding them they are not alone and that shame and guilt are part of the human experience.
When we stop seeing our pain as a sign of weakness or brokenness and start seeing it as a universal experience, the narrative shifts, and we open ourselves up more to connection.
This makes us more likely to engage in therapy and reach out to others for support.
Self-compassion reduces the risk of relapse
When feelings of guilt or shame drive our behaviours and choices, we’re more prone to engage in patterns of avoidance to cope.
Some may use substances like alcohol to drown out the noise of constant inner criticism or negative self-talk.
Others may work excessively long hours or turn to gambling or gaming to numb or push down unwanted feelings or emotional distress.
Self-compassion teaches us to manage feelings of guilt and shame in healthier ways.
This can be done through self-soothing techniques like connecting to your body through somatic exercises.
This may involve deep breathing, engaging the senses (sight, touch, smell, and taste), positive affirmations, or going for a long walk in nature.
Embodying self-compassion doesn’t mean you won’t experience setbacks occasionally.
It means when life does its thing and setbacks arise, you respond with understanding, not judgement.
This approach can help you build confidence and resilience over time, which enables you to stay on track as you navigate your unique journey to recovery and wellness.
The most effective self-compassion techniques for those in recovery
There are various self-compassion techniques that are highly effective, particularly for those in recovery.
Some common self-compassion techniques include:
1. Mindfulness
Mindfulness teaches you to observe your thoughts and emotions with curiosity rather than judgement. It helps you stay present and respond to challenges with clarity instead of criticism.
2. Shift your inner dialogue
Shifting your inner dialogue is one of the most impactful ways to build self-compassion.
Replacing harsh inner narratives with gentle, understanding self-talk can significantly improve your emotional well-being.
Imagine how you would speak to a friend in distress and extend that same kindness and understanding towards yourself.
This simple shift can make a world of difference in your self-compassion journey.
3. Challenge limiting beliefs
Challenging any limiting beliefs as you navigate your journey to healing and wellness is crucial.
For instance, you can learn how to reframe self-critical thoughts by acknowledging that everyone makes mistakes.
These mishaps don’t diminish your worth; they reflect your humanity.
By doing so, you can break free from the cycle of self-criticism and foster a deeper, more compassionate relationship with yourself.
4. Connect with others
Opening up to trusted people, whether friends, family, or support communities, can help reduce shame and reinforce a sense of shared experience and acceptance.
This sense of community can provide a strong foundational support system.
Integrating these approaches into your daily life can support recovery and reshape how you relate to yourself and the world, turning moments of struggle into opportunities for lifelong healing and transformation.
How Camino Recovery can help
At Camino Recovery, we recognise self-compassion as a powerful tool in the recovery journey.
Complementing our holistic and wellness programme, our clinical team incorporates a range of evidence-based treatments for addiction, trauma and other co-occurring disorders such as depression and anxiety.
Our programmes include equine-assisted therapy, EMDR, art therapy, and more, designed to address the underlying causes of substance use and co-occurring mental health disorders.
If you or someone you care about is struggling with addiction or mental health issues, you’re not alone, and help is available.
Contact our team at Camino Recovery today for a free, confidential consultation and learn more about our tailored treatment programmes.
