A 90 day stay here has been a long journey, with so many peaks and troughs of emotion from day to day, hour to hour. From the beginning it’s been intense, draining and uncomfortable. Hence this experience is very different to any other treatment I’ve had. No matter what the state of my behaviour, my acting out, using or clean time, I’ve been offered an education unparalleled by any other therapy I’ve had as an inpatient or not. As I’ve been offered this respect and opportunity, unconditionally, I have listened, appreciated and learnt more than ever before. I have not put into practice all I could have, but thanks to the ideas I’ve been introduced to, I am no longer beating myself up about this. I have now learnt, however long it’s taken, that where I am is where I am supposed to be and if I stay vigilant and alert, open and aware, I can always learn from it.
Every single person who enters these doors every day is a complete gem – everyone offering insights, support, care and lessons about myself. From the therapists in the daily sessions to the housekeeping staff, administration and chefs. The profound statements I’ve heard in the hallways by non-therapeutic members of staff have kept me focused, hopeful and cared for. The connections I’ve found, if only for a few moments, have meant a lot to me. I have a real sense that the people here actually know what drives me, know me in the moment and appreciate who I am.
It is my choice to use what I have learnt here, it will be my choice each day to stay abstinent and it is my choice of my attitude, the way I handle relationships and my direction. I came here desperate, feeling I had no choice but to ask for help. I now leave with fond memories of people, a blossoming love for myself and always a choice.